Friday, 4 August 2017

Stand on your own hidayah

Hi readers,

It's almost time that I need to moved out from the hospital. I love hospital environment more than admin/management works.(except that we need to do on-call on weekends and weekdays).I do admit that my competency in managing ward cases was quite low than amirah & vickram.There might be some cases that I could handle. Most of them need critical thinking and I was too lazy to think about it pronto. As we need to decide fast and help doctors with all the calculation, doses, drug interaction, if the patient have other underlying factors and much more!

Talking about being posted out, I am so excited but afraid of the consequences. I might not be able to do hospital works...ever..again.Might be stuck at store, handling tender and deal with supplier. I am not afraid to be independent again. Being far away from family. I am used to it,as I live in boarding school , plus 6 years stay in Egypt had give me a lot of experience to solve my own conflict . I call mom once per 3 month, sometimes she's busy with house chores , so I ended up having routine skype with yun. It helps yun. You my no 1 listener at that moments.

I actually can do it again. I am still young, right?

Cooking is my therapy. Still am. I enjoy giving peoples foods rather than shopping. You don't have the guilt when you give peoples good foods. But you feel at fault if you finish all the salary for all those stupids bags, shoes, or shawls that you believe you won't wear it often. haha.

so,guys...being independent... I am not sure at this moments.

One day, if I got married. I need to stand on my own. I need to take care of my husband and feed my children.

I can't be kids. I am a grown up lady. 

posting out?

 I am ready!

Saturday, 22 July 2017

Sword bearer

Never did this again in a far away states. I did it in perlis. Nun kodiang sana!

It was the most tiring road trip.. if I am the one who's driving.hahaha. We start to drives at 4 am and stop only to pray. I think by the time it was 9am , i felt asleep and the drivers had changes. As soon as we arrives, I bump into my skuad first.. Oh this man all are getting married finally. Blessed them.

It was quite a good start for me, arrives on time, change cloth to no 1 . Practice for 10 minutes.. And tradada..the ceremony.

Some pictures for memories...:)





Wednesday, 5 July 2017

Hari raya 2017

2017 had become a new chapter for our family. To celebrate raya without my only second brother. Of course I have my third, fourth and little one. But yun had play a big roles of my journey as we come back together and always be there during college lifes. The weekdays skype routines. Ah..how time flies.

Umi already prepared us 3 sets of baju raya for 3 days raya in rows. All plans must be follow accordingly. So she plans on yellow ( i hate yellow), purple and green. Umi do I need to sync with the whole family? Lets just don't overdue this celebrations. My boyfriends is on duty these raya seasons. Like that make sense for her. Baju raya already done from the first week of raya.

So here is my raya pictures , yellow, purple , and green. 





Of dating

Life is the most excites when you start dating, like in another word you suddenly fall in love with a guy out of no where. I still remember the first day I met this guy during my first week in mess. I don't have any feelings for him. He is such a mengada trying me or am I just have feeling it on one side love. Anyway the words I love you comes 6 month after continous texting. He park beside my car. I didn't know that is one of the tactic. So tricky this one. But it makes my heart flutters. Well maybe, a little bit.

I remembered the first time of dating was with his friends( and the nice asus laptop) , me with my tiny notepad trying to figure out excel sheets. But it worth the view because it was infront of klcc view. After two weeks, he's gone. And I felt like I have lost a good friends. I was clingy at that time. And I went through courses. I texted him. I didn't know I have the capability to do that. And I called him. We talk for hours. Oh mai god what was that?

So, the friendship grows .From knowing hobbies, favourite foods, family to deep conversations. Sometimes, there were times the conversation flows and a glimpse of it give you goosebump. Like who is that I'm talking heart to heart with. He become so close and everytime you got text and call. Your heart wants to explode.

To question the gift of love is somewhat unquestionable. It is pure comes from your heart. I once felt that the love is gone. I feel like he try to avoid me. That the relationship is over. Suddenly, it blooms again. And we become so comfortable with each other. And he met my parents, and my annoying little brothers. Priceless.Once my squad said to me, if you fell the sparks maybe Allah already open your heart to deserve love.

If you reading this. My grammar sucks. My vocabulary is way to far from good.

I love you NAJ

Monday, 27 March 2017

A year of memories

Hi readers!

It's been a year and I already put on another step of rank in military. Alhamdulillah. I can feel that my boss were not satisfied by my achievement but I've been working really hard so far .Well, I didn't applied for any leave and I've been committed to all events organized in military, I did my oncall stuff. So let's took  a deep breath and say well done to myself. And basically all the wish that I got was so...HAMBAR except from Mr Bean because he will get excited every time I did something good or stupid.*insertwink  hehe

Lemme bring you to the arena of me a year ago,



This is what we called PT tempur. It was hell for a first timer like me. I hate side roll it was my uttermost weakness and my coach will tell me to do that every time he got angry with me. I swear I faint tak sampai 10 side rolls pon. It was the last thing I want to do in my life. Because I hate dizziness and anything that give my brain a hangwire.*Am really not a pure army blood sheesh


This is my second time on charlie. I was into PARATROOPERS at this time not knowing how dangerous and risky it would do to a human being. HAHA. I love how they did all the exercise which were insane but still survives. I may not tell you the secret but these peoples are very rare species and willing to die for the country.That is why it is listed in our elite force. I still adore this people they just amazing and they know nothing about their amazing-ness.


Again..A picture of  roll. HAHAHA I love forward roll though. It is much easier and  if you got proper tactic you can cheat on your coach. Nope. Side roll cannot. You just get dizzier in every move. A friend of mine said that people who could do side roll shows that his/her body were fit enough. The navy scout will probably get advantage on this since they will develop motion sickness off-shore. And why is tentera darat need to do that (big question mark)


Opsie! I forgot I was thin before. Looking like a high school students and enter military like a boss. Hehe I will get my body back ! period ! .The old senior once said to me, you can't be happy/ senang hati being in army. Because once you feels that, you will become sluggish and unable to concentrate on works.


We played a cruel game called evade & escape. My STO sir bullied the komando group because they loose. Poor them at that time they really suffers a lot, but let it be a histories. You guys are so macho back then. And our group wins because we were PARA group.


I am always in a love and hate relationships with karaoke. I have a sore throat for a week because of that I swear it hurts. A LOT yeah


Our first date. LOL whatever!


The first time I become a partner during mess night. I swear it was the best time ever. I just enjoyed every part of it. Thanks dear and sorry I didn't put on my suit. I spilled on mushroom soups on my white mess night kit a week before and it must need to be dry clean at shah alam.yes..shah alam. I felt my skin so bright and beautiful and special because someone prepare a lot of things for me. He did a good job. You did a great job dear sir dear! *insertlove

I think it's a great year. Being a military officer, getting your paid every month and being mentally tortured as you need to go anywhere all around the world. I get tired, I sometimes doesn't want to wake up for tomorrow. End up looking back at life and you survives. I believe there is always a lessons and we must always be patience.

 Qs. Al-Baqarah : 216

' Boleh jadi kamu membenci sesuatu padahal ia amat baik bagimu dan boleh jadi pula kamu menyukai sesuatu padahal ia amat buruk bagimu. Allah mengetahui sedang kamu tidak mengetahui.

Wednesday, 1 February 2017

Hi Assalamualaikum readers

(or anyone who still remember this blog exist)

This could be the current update of my life. I've been serving military for a year and succeed in being promoted to lieutenant.(I hope so, peoples keeps bugging us if we're not getting promoted in the given time). For me 2016 had teach me a lot of lessons. It makes me grow at the same time drain my energy and critical thinking.

Being a woman in military is a no joke. You need to be mentally strong, as in military they applied the concept of equality. Meaning that whatever men can do ,women also did the same thing. If a man lift a 10kg wooden log, without excuse you did the same exercise. Regardless your weight neither your feelings. I also learnt to love a person .( yes dear readers..FINALLY , I met my mr. right but let us consider this relationship at the level of knowing 'hati-budi' ).

Talking about that, I thought  I was ready to end my single status, yet there is more rooms for me to learn before I enter the next stage of life. I was dissapointed and confused. My parents put some hopes for me to be serious ( I am not surprise as most of my cousins got engaged and married -.-) .I am serious, but let us consider my mr right need his own time to think for our future.* insert smiley face. And I need my space to get ready for any obstacles.

oh and that's it

I have nothing to say untill I have a lot to say Im going to bed because I need to go back to kl tomorrow i hates kuala lumpur peoples are freaking crazy at the roads and traffics.